Are You Going to Be OK? Robin Williams
My friend, The Boy, stopped in this morning to tell me that according to the morning news, unusual behavior evinced on an airplane will now probably get that passenger thrown off the plane and held for questioning.
The Boy came by to tell me this because he was with me a couple of months ago when I was removed from my seat by a stewardess and placed up front for observation.
Yes, you know me. I have no one to blame but myself. When I am in an airport, waiting to fly into or out of Portland, I stand by the place where people get on the plane. And two months ago there were around 15 people in a line who, while getting on a plane, shook hands with me and told me how much they enjoyed this program. One young couple was district attorneys who worked in Washington.
Because I welcomed this opportunity to say hi to all of my friends, I was the last one to board. If you were at the ticket counter watching all this, wouldn’t you think it peculiar if a stoop shouldered old man was shaking hands with every other person who boarded and babbling amicably with them? Is this not indicative of some alarming type of mental deviance? To make it worse, the aforementioned place of boarding was somewhere in the sunny south, but I was wearing my ancient shapeless jacket and a necktie, while many others were in t shirts and shorts. Over my shoulder, suspended from a strap, was a very shabby --- very shabby soft leather suitcase.
So you have the picture. Perhaps you have, upon entering airplanes, stood in line while some half-witted young dubber tries to jam 40 pounds of suitcase into an overhead 20 pound hole. And the stewardess gets on the pa system and asks people if they won’t please try to get to their seats.
If I were you, and if I didn’t want to draw attention to myself in an airplane for deviant behavior, I would stand with a 40 pound suitcase and try to jam it into a 20 pound hole --- which is considered normal. Because – as soon as I was abeam of my seat, I dropped into my aisle seat like a sack of grain as I kicked my shabby little leather bag under the seat ahead of me. You see, I had done exactly what these stressed out stewardesses had been trained to beg people to do. Please sit down quickly and get your luggage stowed so we can get out of here.
Wait. That was not my only sin. As soon as I dropped, I continued my conversation with the attractive young district attorney radio friend who was sitting with her family across the aisle from me.
So, in the eyes of a stewardess not only have I seated myself quicker than anyone she has ever encountered on an airplane in her entire career, I am also an elderly masher who is inflicting his attention upon a helpless young maiden. You see, the stewardess doesn’t know that this woman is a district attorney who told me that she and her husband have been enjoying my radio program for years. The stewardess doesn't know that this public servant has nerves of steel and that she deals with the old, the bad and the ugly from 9 to 5 every day and is, therefore, quite capable of looking out for herself.
You are aware of numerous psychological ploys employed by criminals when they want to distract attention from themselves and fasten it upon a hapless bystander. Teachers also have their own tested set of verbal patterns that enable them to intimidate even the innocent and thereby maintain control in the classroom. If you haven’t written textbooks on the topic yourself, you have seen the techniques used in the movies or used them in your own line of work so you know what I am talking about. On planes, the stewardess looks at the person she wishes to immediately place under her control and shouts, “Are you going to be ok?”
This is a very clever and most effective management tool, and the psychologists who worked it out must be commended. You see, the implication is that the person being addressed is having an epileptic fit or in some other manner has given a reason for alarm. Everyone in the immediate area is informed that there is a person in their midst who is not ok. There is no trial here by a jury of 15 radio friends in the back of the plane --- just pointing and shouting makes it so.
Were you to ask the questioner, “What am I doing that implies that I am not ok,” you would probably not get an answer. They don't want to get into that because the answer would have to be, “Well, you are the first person I have ever seen on an airplane who sat down quickly and got himself and his luggage out of my way.”
If you have ever witnessed another unique method of crowd control that should be brought to our attention, I’m humble@humblefarmer.com and we’d like to hear about it.
You better hope you never fly on a plane with Robin Williams, because that plane would never get out of the loading dock.
The Boy came by to tell me this because he was with me a couple of months ago when I was removed from my seat by a stewardess and placed up front for observation.
Yes, you know me. I have no one to blame but myself. When I am in an airport, waiting to fly into or out of Portland, I stand by the place where people get on the plane. And two months ago there were around 15 people in a line who, while getting on a plane, shook hands with me and told me how much they enjoyed this program. One young couple was district attorneys who worked in Washington.
Because I welcomed this opportunity to say hi to all of my friends, I was the last one to board. If you were at the ticket counter watching all this, wouldn’t you think it peculiar if a stoop shouldered old man was shaking hands with every other person who boarded and babbling amicably with them? Is this not indicative of some alarming type of mental deviance? To make it worse, the aforementioned place of boarding was somewhere in the sunny south, but I was wearing my ancient shapeless jacket and a necktie, while many others were in t shirts and shorts. Over my shoulder, suspended from a strap, was a very shabby --- very shabby soft leather suitcase.
So you have the picture. Perhaps you have, upon entering airplanes, stood in line while some half-witted young dubber tries to jam 40 pounds of suitcase into an overhead 20 pound hole. And the stewardess gets on the pa system and asks people if they won’t please try to get to their seats.
If I were you, and if I didn’t want to draw attention to myself in an airplane for deviant behavior, I would stand with a 40 pound suitcase and try to jam it into a 20 pound hole --- which is considered normal. Because – as soon as I was abeam of my seat, I dropped into my aisle seat like a sack of grain as I kicked my shabby little leather bag under the seat ahead of me. You see, I had done exactly what these stressed out stewardesses had been trained to beg people to do. Please sit down quickly and get your luggage stowed so we can get out of here.
Wait. That was not my only sin. As soon as I dropped, I continued my conversation with the attractive young district attorney radio friend who was sitting with her family across the aisle from me.
So, in the eyes of a stewardess not only have I seated myself quicker than anyone she has ever encountered on an airplane in her entire career, I am also an elderly masher who is inflicting his attention upon a helpless young maiden. You see, the stewardess doesn’t know that this woman is a district attorney who told me that she and her husband have been enjoying my radio program for years. The stewardess doesn't know that this public servant has nerves of steel and that she deals with the old, the bad and the ugly from 9 to 5 every day and is, therefore, quite capable of looking out for herself.
You are aware of numerous psychological ploys employed by criminals when they want to distract attention from themselves and fasten it upon a hapless bystander. Teachers also have their own tested set of verbal patterns that enable them to intimidate even the innocent and thereby maintain control in the classroom. If you haven’t written textbooks on the topic yourself, you have seen the techniques used in the movies or used them in your own line of work so you know what I am talking about. On planes, the stewardess looks at the person she wishes to immediately place under her control and shouts, “Are you going to be ok?”
This is a very clever and most effective management tool, and the psychologists who worked it out must be commended. You see, the implication is that the person being addressed is having an epileptic fit or in some other manner has given a reason for alarm. Everyone in the immediate area is informed that there is a person in their midst who is not ok. There is no trial here by a jury of 15 radio friends in the back of the plane --- just pointing and shouting makes it so.
Were you to ask the questioner, “What am I doing that implies that I am not ok,” you would probably not get an answer. They don't want to get into that because the answer would have to be, “Well, you are the first person I have ever seen on an airplane who sat down quickly and got himself and his luggage out of my way.”
If you have ever witnessed another unique method of crowd control that should be brought to our attention, I’m humble@humblefarmer.com and we’d like to hear about it.
You better hope you never fly on a plane with Robin Williams, because that plane would never get out of the loading dock.
posted by The humble Farmer at 7:40 AM
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