Robert Karl Skoglund

Unedited Rant for May 26, 2006 The humble Farmer radio program

Have you ever seen men whom you might think have nothing going for them who are married to attractive, intelligent, industrious women? If you asked whatever got them together in the first place, she might say, “He makes me laugh.” Unfortunately for many men, they run out of material. Movies, books and plays have been written about wives who are still able to evoke a painful smile the 38th time they hear their husband tell one of his shopworn stories. My hat goes off to any woman who can laugh at her husband’s old jokes, and any husband who can come up with quality new material has my admiration. You know that I am not one to boast or brag, but I have the ability to make my wife Marsha, The Almost Perfect Woman, laugh any time, any place. And I am not talking here about a chuckle but a wholesome, honest laugh that would make Jack Benny proud. To employ the vernacular --- I can crack her up. You know I have no secrets from you and you know that I am now going to tell you how I do it. Any man is welcome to follow my example, as long as he uses his own wife and chalks up a mental thanks to me each time. Ready to write this down? I gently seize Marsha by the shoulders, I gaze deeply and lovingly into her eyes, and then, having captured her attention as it were, I say with a deep and mellifluous voice, “My dear, please remember that I am the boss in this house.”